His timing

Tropically arrayed with color and palm trees, we always weaved through a flower jungle to get to the front porch. Country music played on the front porch and wooden chimes clucked to the music's beat. Martha's place. Though we lived next door to our family friend-our welcoming routine warmed us through the years. Things changed over time, though.

This visit held no excitement or warmth for us. No music played. The wind chimes rested, and we waited impatiently.

No, this time she didn't greet us on the porch at all. Instead, as the door opened, and I looked past her elderly mom to find her. My friend. She had changed. She was not the friend I used to know. I didn't know this person. I missed my friend, even though I looked at her.

She lay frail and small in her bed in the middle of the dim living room. Her majestic request of what we would like to drink and snack on echoed in my mind only. Her smile: vanished. Instead of greetings and background music, an eerie silence nagged at my heart. Emptiness gripped me.

Fighting back, I picked up her hand, kissed her cheek and tried to encourage her. Inside I crumbled. Outside I smiled, hoping to give back warmth.

The Leader of the Band

Drum beat rivets. Horns chime in. Smiles galore, and children craning to see through colorful crowds the demonstration. All in a row, polished brass, rythymic echos reverbrate through our bodies. Excitement stirs.

Glued to the sight we lean in and elbow our way to view the coordinated unifroms and perfected march.

Parades.

Love em.

Life is my parade. Not for show. For follow, though. I follow my leader with joy,remembering Ephesians 6:13-18..(THE MESSAGE).

13-18Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

MAN: WHAT a parade!

Through God's reminder my access for a great finish is between the lines. I must find my own style, my own way of practice but if I am not on my feet how will I get there? If I am not on my knees how will I arrive to encourage others from dropping out? If my heart's eyes close at difficulty will I drop out?

Putting the pieces together: Lego land

“I can’t go with you?” Soft and low my son's hurt voice left me aching. Adam dropped the small Lego piece he fidgeted with into the enormous bucket. Silence.

My insides groaned for my bad mommy decision. In June, as a teacher, I would lead a European tour with students, including my own daughter, for 11 days. Adam was left out because of age restrictions. Left behind and left out. My son.

I had to turn this around. The visit to Rome, London and Paris, had wounded us and we hadn’t even left America yet. I decided to include Adam on a dream trip.

“Where would you go if you could go anywhere?” I bit my lower lip, scarcely breathing, for fear of his honest reply.

His head popped up and the gloom vanished. “Legoland,” then he added, “with Jessica, too. All of us, it will be fun!”

My heart flip-flopped. All three of us. Wow. Why didn’t I think of that? Jesus, you handpicked Europe for us, why not Legoland too? The bubbling of hope set me to planning and looking at the calendar. It also brought me to my knees.

Raising two children on one salary had been possible only by faith in God. Through the years, irregular child support took its toll on me. I hired attorneys. Eventually, I filed bankruptcy. Better financial boundaries helped me tithe and this eventually changed our opportunities. My faith was about to exceed my planning.

Just before summer, God purposed for me to leave teaching. I questioned God.
Not signing my teaching contract frightened me, but eventually I followed God’s prompts.
In addition, I kept the Lego Land vision alive and officially marked the date, October 23rd, on the kitchen calendar.

The European trip was a hit, and Adam bonded with relatives back in Texas.
Summer flew. Our finances offered no extras. Yet, that fall, the children enjoyed unhurried drives to school, with a calm, happy mom. Often, our errands included Tiger, our shedding Golden Retriever.

Extra pampering for the kids became routine- things like cookies and muffins after school. Before, as a teacher, I required about an hour afterschool of “down time” to detoxify my mind. Now in the afternoons, I indulged in listening to my own children. On weekends, friends came over to hang out, swim or spend the night. Healing began.

The official departure date and time for Legoland loomed. October 23rd, scribbled on the Beth More study guide Believing God now became the official date for confirmed flights, hotel stays and car rentals. While planning we discovered discounts. Together, our three “GO” cards allowed for free admission to Legoland and tons of other discounts and freebies. Gleefully, we checked out sites online for possible itineraries. Maybe surf lessons? Go-carts, bicycle rides along the ocean front, and a safari zoo. We dreamed together, as we counted down the days to our special family trip. Everyone had a top ten list of places to go on our vacation.

Without warning, some regular finances did not deposit into our bank account. I dreaded checking the bank’s website. I prayed for faith to surface.

Though our departure date was a week away, I stopped dreaming aloud. Adam asked me specific details about the trip. My evasive answers dodged his questions. Finally, I consulted God about how to handle the apparent defeat staring me down. With less than twenty dollars in the bank, I refused to admit defeat.

At breakfast my son asked, “Mom it’s next week. Are we really going?”

Guide me, Father.

My eyes met his gaze. “I am praying for it, but the truth is I don’t know yet, except that I am praying. And, you can pray too.”

He joined me. That night I had an idea. Even if I could not go, the kids deserved the vacation.
“Hey, guys,” I called the kids. “It doesn’t look good – there are only a few days left before the flight leaves. Do you really want to go?”

“How can we still go?” Jessica asked.

“Well, I can ask your dad …would you be willing? If he is available, then everything is already covered, except food expenses.” With their approval, I turned to go outside to make the difficult phone call. No good. He already had plans. I continued praying.

Miraculously, our finances arrived two days prior to the trip.

“Remember- we are eating at McDonalds, no gourmet room service” I warned them. My voice drowned in their chattering sea of excitement. What time to set the alarms, and what to pack…
On our flight, I pulled out Believing God. I stared at the question mark by today’s actual date and flight number. Stunned. God had answered my prayer last spring. I recalled the doubts and fears: what if I couldn’t pull it off and they were disappointed?

The jet touched land. Bent on adventure and sights, we searched the bay for a fun tour. Within minutes we climbed aboard the USS Midway and listened to Sailors War Stories. Navigating through California with maps became challenging. We journeyed through lush valleys for the Safari Zoo, quickly mastering U-turns and recomputations.

We located Torrey Pines, right after our first McCafe. Afterwards, the ocean lured us and we jumped into cold, salty, waves. Collecting seashells and watching surfers in wet suits allowed time to dream. A talented guitarist played melodies under the stars in Old Town.

Finally: Legoland. Free to wander on a gorgeous sunny day, we arrived as it opened. With confident, unhurried strides, Adam’s peaceful, mature demeanor spoke to my heart. He had grown. Competing for digital accuracy we built robots. Adam’s robot raced to second place.
Later he shared-“I thought there would be Legos everywhere.”

What imagination! Ah, my boy.

Another surprise awaited me. Due to complications, the airlines extended our stay. At the yachting resort, we swam then phoned room service. We devoured our chef-prepared meals.

Nothing compared to Legoland. Not even Paris.

SING & REJOICE

I am no superstar. Just a simple mom, really. But who I serve, now that is another story. He fulfills my needs and so many of my wants- it is unreal. My hope is to serve and serve so well that I am exhausted at the race's end.

As a runner, I know distance. So, I wanna go the distance. But, there is a new perspective to this race. It is a protected event, I am learning. One filled with supernatural romance.

Yeah, and there will be this peace factor in his wooing, and in his happiness he sings over me. It is more than a song. You can tell.

He will "woo" me? Me? The creator of all things will be there with me and sing?

Wo. But in my Bible, that is what it said- and though I know about saving me...singing over me is a whole new level. This gives me joy to sing to Him, knowing it's really a duet!

The verse is Zephaniah 3:14. Check it out.

14 Sing, O Daughter of Zion; shout aloud, O Israel! Beglad and rejoice with all your heart, O Daughter of Jerusalem!
15 The LORD has taken away your punishment, he has turned back your enemy. The LORD, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm.
16 On that day they will say to Jerusalem, "Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp.
17 The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Trust

My knuckles turned white from clenching the edge of the Olympic-sized pool. Everywhere around me, people jumped, splashed and swam their way around the chlorine haven. Not me. Nope. No way. Fear gripped me as tightly as I gripped the edge that anchored me. My sense of gravity knew better.

"You can trust me." The swim instructor, all of 15, waited. I did not budge.

I wanted to trust. But I looked around again. How? How could I? My perception was locked on not knowing, and what if?

"I am trained to keep you safe. Would I ask you to do anything that would make you unsafe? People float in water. Look around. Nobody is drowning. They float. We ALL float."

I checked out the others. Yeah, sure,but, they KNEW HOW, I thought.

"Can't you trust me? I am right here. I can reach you if you need me. I won't let anything happen to you." His words echoed in me and the soft tone touched me. He seemed to mean it.

Okay. I let go. Sinking downward I panicked. Uh-oh. Then. Something happened.

By letting go, and trusting I was able to float. I could float. I did not drown. My five-year old heart swelled. I DID IT!


Wow. Looking back, I realize now that God has so much more for me in life. At 40, I just let go of a solid career, complete with perks and great flexibility. I opted to trust God's prompting. Along the way I am still that little 5-year old girl, wanting to see with my senses, wanting PROOF.

There I am, gripping the edge of the known gravity force to skip over the unknown pleasures of other truths. He can reach me. He already saved me. Why do I delay the process?